Managing people 101
When I’m looking for engineering manager candidates among technical leads, the way they work with other people is definitely the key. All of them are well accomplished as technologists at this point, and they picked up enough process knowledge to be dangerous. And so, the way they relate to other people is what determines to me whether they are ready for the next step or not.
And yet, even with the most talent for working with other people, the first time engineering managers often struggle with the concept of actually managing people. And, eventually, drive the bus off the cliff a few times when they start.
So, today I’m going to share some structures and tips. I hope it will be helpful to some of you.
The structure
There are always structures and ways of thinking about the world around us. We even have the chaos theory that structures the utter chaos. Managing people is no different, there is a method to the madness.
There are a lot of people management frameworks out there, and some of them are a lot to take in for a person new to management and leadership. So, to help new starters, I like to give them this very simple structure:
- Define what the success looks like
- Give feedback and follow up
It sounds simple, but it’s not. You’d be surprised how many managers, including very senior level ones, never learn how to do this effectively. It takes practice until this combo becomes natural, and there are few reasons for that.
Defining success in a fair and consistent manner is surprisingly difficult. It’s even more difficult to describe it in a succinctly clear and hard to misinterpret format. That’s leadership in a nut shell.
And then there is the follow up part that presents its own challenges. Especially when it comes to providing negative feedback and working through differences in achieving the goals.
Goals vs. tasks
When it comes to defining what the success looks like, people tend to think basically in two categories: goals and tasks. Some might even think they are the same, but there is a key difference.
Task is a measure of utility. A person is expected to complete a task as closely to the specification as possible, and as quickly as possible. For example:
Hey, you there! I want to hang a picture on this wall, so if it’s not too much trouble, please drill me a hole right here where I’m pointing.
A goal is a different thing all together and in this case would sound something like this:
I have this picture that needs hanging. When you have a moment, would you mind hanging it somewhere where it’s aesthetically pleasing? Thank you.
The key here is to remember that you are managing very smart and creative people. Giving them tasks is degrading to their intelligence. If they wanted to move units, they’d work at a factory. They are not here to do your bidding, they are here to problem solve. And, it is your job as a manager to give them problems, not solutions.
You can set up career goals, project goals, business goals, etc. Just remember, to set goals together with the people you manage, collaboratively. Because goals that you just hand down to people, are called tasks. In the end of the day you need the people to own the goals.
The only person you should be giving tasks to is your boss, actually. Tell you a secret, bosses love tasks, it makes them feel useful on the inside. But, the tradition dictates that they are supposed to say “no” three times to your requests before doing anything about it. So, use them sparingly
Corrective feedback
When you defined your goals well this part is just plain hard. And, when you defined your goals poorly, this part is doubly hard, and also awkward. Because nobody wants to work for two weeks on something just to hear from their manager: “hey, i didn’t think it through well the last time, so I’ve changed my mind”
The purpose of feedback is to course correct. Which means that feedback needs to be thought through and consistent. This is where the collaborative goal setting pays off. Because you will always have the leverage of: “I believe we had agreed on bla, why am I seeing not bla?” in those conversations.
When people do what they’re supposed to do, feedback is easy; probably my favourite part of the job, actually. You just hand out some gold stars, say “thank you”, and move onto the next batch of fires to put down.
When, on the other hand, things aren’t going so smoothly, that is where you need to be most diligent and consistent. Coincidently this is where the first time engineering managers falter the most. Because giving corrective feedback is uncomfortable. And, it’s easy to feel attacked when you’re on the other side of it.
When we’re facing a tense situation our fight or flight response kicks in, and the natural way to think about the situation is that we have basically two options: either let it slide, or challenge the other person. And that is precisely how monkeys sort things out. We, as a bit more evolved mammals, don’t have to do either of those.
There is a third option, it is called the assertive mode of interaction. You neither flee nor challenge. You offer your perspective, reiterate your expectations, and then let the other person figure out how to respond. Most likely they will respond with a flight or fight reaction, because you’re their manager. But, after a while, things will settle down and you will get back to problem solving in no time.
Giving corrective feedback is never easy, it is always uncomfortable, even when you get better at it. The sooner you realise that this is part of the job and embrace the discomfort the better. Also, same as with goals setting, thinking about feedback in collaborative format, helps a lot.
Never boss people around, but also, never ever skip on corrective feedback because you are uncomfortable with the process. The people you manage deserve you being clear and consistent with them. That is where you really earn your standing with your people as a leader.
The key
Some of you are very smart people, and you might be thinking to yourself: okay, set goals and follow up. how is that different from normal project management?. And you are right, it does sound exactly like project management: set goals and follow up. The difference is that you’re not managing projects, you’re managing people.
This sounds dumb simple, and yet this fact somehow eludes many managers. The ability to see other people, not as tools, resources, projects, but as human beings is what separates good managers from the average ones.
As long as you keep seeing people as means to an end, and implement the goal/follow up system mechanically, you will keep failing as a manager. The reason for this is that you’re going to rationalise yours and people’s behaviour. And that’s a straight road to disappointment. Because people are messy and irrational; including yourself. And until you really embrace this fact, you’re not going to progress as a people leader.
For the goals/feedback system to work effectively and collaboratively you need to earn the trust of the person you’re managing. And trust is never a default mode of operation between a manager and an employee, because the manager always has the upper hand. The trust needs to be earned. And the only way to reliably earn the trust of another human being is to build a human connection with them; to see them as people.
So, listen to their gripes, and complains, and brags. Try to really understand their unique needs and wants without judgement. Even if those needs and wants seem stupid or irrelevant to you. Because they have full rights to do whatever they want with their life, and your judgement doesn’t mean anything in the grand schema of things.
Once you do that. They you will naturally tailor the goals and the follow up style to those needs and wants of the person you’re managing. And that is the key to make the management work effective.
Wrapping up
In the end of the day, people are not going to remember how many features you shipped, how much money you made, and how many raises you gave them. But, they will remember how you related to them. Did you see them as unique human beings? Did you validate their wacky needs and wants? Did you show up as a human being yourself?
People will remember whether you showed gratitude when they succeeded, they will remember whether you offered your council when they struggled, and whether you were there for them when they failed.
You will know you’re doing something right when people management starts to feel less like management and more like spending quality time with your people.